Short Stories!

A rather bizarre one today. I just kind of went with it....


Solid Marble pillars supported the massive ceiling of the bank. The roof, roughly 20 to 30 feet high, was painted with a mural of Helios raising the sun across a night sky dispelling the darkness and replacing it with a brightly lit clouds. The walls were ornately cut stone depicting different greek myths. There didn't seem to be much organization, just different sculptures and reliefs.

Stephen Palmer finally craned his head downward from the incredible ceiling. The ground was a dark crimson stone and the bank looked fairly normal towards the ground, as if the architects had abandoned the greek theme half-way. The sculpts and reliefs became plaques naming managers and employee of the month. This month it was Joel O'Malley.

Stephen walked up to the front teller. Surprisingly there was no line ups and a few open tellers. The front teller was sitting there filing her nails. She didn't seem to notice him standing there. Or if she did, she didn't care. Stephen looked at the name plate in front of the teller.

Mildred Thompson.

"Hi, Mildred!" He smiled cheerily.

Mildred just rolled her eyes and tapped the window on the right. A sign hung that read "Please do not address staff by name."

"Oh, sorry."

"What do you want?" Mildred tersely replied still filing her nails all the while.

Stephen paused unsure of how to continue. "I want to open an account."

"You have to talk to speak with one of our account representatives for that, not with me."

"Well where can I find an account representative?"

Mildred put down her file slapping it onto her desk in frustration. She rolled her eyes before speaking again. "You need to make an appointment to see our account representative."

"I'd like to make an appointment then."

"For who?"

"For your account representative!"

"You don't make appoints with the tellers you need to speak with customer service."

"Why didn't you say that the first time?"

"You didn't ask." Mildred picked up her file and began to file her nails again. Stephen was beginning to understand why there was no line ups at this bank. She stopped and glared at Stephen. "What?"

"Where's customer service!?"

"Over there!" Mildred pointed behind Stephen. He turned and saw a desk with a small sign labeling. He turned back to the teller but the window as closed.

"Thanks." He muttered, more to himself, and then walked to the customer service desk.

The plaque on the desk read Erica Smalls.

"How may I help you?" she asked in a sickeningly sweet tone. Stephen pulled up a chair and sat across from her.

"I want to open account."

"OH, well you have to talk to our-"

"Account representative. I know."

"Then why are you here?"

Stephen threw up his arms in a half shrug. "I need to make an appointment?"

"With whom?"

"With the account representative!"

"I can do that for you. When did you want to see them."

Stephen was at a loss for words. "I can't see them right now?"

"Do you have an appointment right now?"

"Well, no, but-"

"Then you can't see them right now."

"I'd like to make an appointment to see them right now then."

"To see whom?"

"The account representative! Are you guys told to be-"

"I'll need your name and a number we can reach you at for your appointment."

"My name is Stephen Palmer. Why do you need my number. I'm making an appointment for right now."

"You can't have an appointment for right now."

"When can I have an appointment?"

"When do you want it."

"In 20 minutes."

"That's not available."

"What time is available."

"Anytime you like."

"What about sometime today."

"What time."

"6 O'Clock!"

"That's not available."

"Why the hell not!?"

"The account representative isn't in today."

"When will they be in?"

"Tomorrow."

"I'd like to make an appointment for tomorrow."

"What time tomorrow."

"Whenever the account representative gets in! Immediately once they get in! What time would that be."

"The account manager isn't in tomorrow."

"But you just said-"

"I'm sorry sir but you'll have to leave."

"What?! Why!?"

"You're being difficult. Please leave before I have to call security."

"I'm being... I'M being difficult!?" Stephen stood up and looked around the empty bank. "I'm just trying to open a god damned account!"

"You have to speak with our account representative-"

"Arrgh!" Stephen kicked the chair over and stormed out of the bank.

He stepped outside and looked at the sign beside it.

World's Finest Bank and Reserve.